Hello Monday Motivators!
I hope you did something relaxing or fun this weekend. With all that is going on in our world, government shutdown, and our challenging economy, you may find people’s patience faltering. In some organizations, projects have been put on hold or salaries have been frozen, or possibly some positions that are open are not being filled right now. That means the individuals who are left at the company have more on their plate. Or you may find that people are less patient or anxious. And so maybe you are having difficulty on certain days not letting the stress get to you.
It’s almost instinctive to yell back or to be offended at someone who is raising their voice at you, cutting you short, or seeming to be difficult—be it a coworker or a manager. But yelling back or arguing accomplishes little. It can destroy a business relationship and certainly dims your professional image. So before you respond to a verbal attack, keep these things in mind.
1. Figure out what’s really going on. In each of the following cases, compassion—not retaliation—is in order.
– Everyone is liable to blow up during a rough day at work. If the person yelling at you isn’t known as a chronic “office dragon”, then consider that the source of the blow up is from other reasons and not personal.
– Consider that some people are just socially inept and know no other way to communicate.
– Each person handles stress differently. So, what creates stress for someone else, may not bother you; be understanding of the other person’s feelings and perspectives.
– Then, there are some people who crave the attention and know that yelling or being aggressive is one way to get it.
2. Listen before you leap to conclusions. Assume first that what a person is saying is true. More often than not, we tend to start making a list of what’s wrong with a person and miss the opportunity to really find out what’s at issue. At that point, no one is listening to what the other is saying.
3. Stay neutral. Instead of adding fuel to the argument by disagreeing, deflect the hostilities. Don’t walk away. Instead, demonstrate a neutral position. Answer in a calm, steady voice or give an inane answer. It usually stops an argument cold.
4. All people deserve your respect even if you don’t like how they are acting.
5. Don’t judge or blame; it wastes time and distracts you from the task at hand.
6. Maintain calm persistence.
7. Keep control of your own emotions.
Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s letting of go of anger and hurt and moving on. Take time. It’s not easy to forgive with both your head and heart.